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Author Topic: TextsFromLastnight.com/Textslastnight.com  (Read 513 times)
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Dominator
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  • Date Registerd:July 10, 2005, 04:07:53 PM
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    « on: October 20, 2009, 11:38:40 AM »

    Post your fav ones here, this one is for koolaid:

    (262): The first time she threw up, afterwards she yelled, 'SMELLS LIKE ROOT BEER'. And the 2nd time she yelled "I'M A DRAGON." And then she passed out right on the bathroom floor. I love our romantic nights together.
    « Last Edit: October 20, 2009, 11:40:55 AM by Dominator » Logged

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    « Reply #1 on: October 20, 2009, 12:36:39 PM »

    (781): me and my roomate just met a girl on craigs list, stole my moms car at 2 am and drove an hour and 45 minutes to pick her up and then brought her back to my place and effile towered her. (781-1) did you atleast refill my tank? (781) mom?!?!?! (781-1) no its the fucking tooth fairy
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    WhosDelicious?
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    « Reply #2 on: October 20, 2009, 01:00:27 PM »

    (910): i should start naming my morning wood (201): great idea but wrong number

    LMAO:

    (613): Sent: Dude i banged the ugliest chick last night! recd: really cause kyle says you went home with my sister
    « Last Edit: October 20, 2009, 01:05:04 PM by WhosDelicious? » Logged


    (15:37:57) DM: haha yeah! its like wife swapping
    (15:38:10) DM: only with medics
    (15:38:15) DM: i mean, soldiers
    Dominator
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    « Reply #3 on: October 20, 2009, 01:11:25 PM »

    (402):  dude, like half way through sex she started screaming Skittles... oh yah babe- taste this fucking rainbow (;
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    WhosDelicious?
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    « Reply #4 on: October 20, 2009, 01:23:01 PM »

    you have completely killed me with this thread dom, thank god i got most of my work done earlier.

    Quote
    "(305): I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez" "

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    (732): Then she asked me why I have swords all over my house. So I did a creepy laugh and locked the door.
    « Last Edit: October 20, 2009, 01:27:56 PM by WhosDelicious? » Logged


    (15:37:57) DM: haha yeah! its like wife swapping
    (15:38:10) DM: only with medics
    (15:38:15) DM: i mean, soldiers
    Mama Luigi
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    « Reply #5 on: October 20, 2009, 03:48:49 PM »

     (516): Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
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    Mama Luigi
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    « Reply #6 on: October 20, 2009, 03:50:46 PM »

    Double post for snuggie win!

     (717): If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
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    Dominator
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    « Reply #7 on: October 20, 2009, 09:29:17 PM »

    Double post are deff allowed here!
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    DickTater
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    « Reply #8 on: October 22, 2009, 08:15:36 AM »

    (772): bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls

    (205): im getting a BJ in a closet
    (205): and a penguin just handed me a bong

    (250): Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.

    (610): my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.

    (308): yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time

    (760): Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.

    (312): I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.

    (703): Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more

    (215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

    (519): and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

    (619): just caught grandpa beating off in the living room

    (815): have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
    (1-815): why can't you just be normal

    (704): "Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
    FUNNY BECAUSE I HAVE H1N1!!!
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    « Reply #9 on: November 08, 2009, 05:35:48 PM »

    (806): and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...

    (732): The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.

    (916): this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.

    (505): you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.   

    (407): We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.

    (630): he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex. 

    (503): she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!

    (708): I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
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    somerandomegirl
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    « Reply #10 on: November 25, 2009, 06:43:01 PM »

    haha thes are fuuunnnyyy
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