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Author Topic: STOCK PHOTO HELL  (Read 4965 times)
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Dark_Stool
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    « on: May 03, 2010, 09:34:37 AM »

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    Throughout my daily routine at work, I need to sift through pages and pages of the cheesiest stock photos you could imagine. And i think to myself, "WHO IN THERE RIGHT MIND WOULD TAKE THIS PHOTO AND TRY TO SELL IT?!"

    I have decided that I am going to start posting some of these beauties here for you to view. Feel free to add to the list, but the only rules are that it must be a real stock photo, from a real stock photo site, and that it be assumed the creator intended it for serious use.

    and so it begins with this one, but I will add as the day wears on...


    "We don't see color at our company. Now bump my fist, black guy."

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    « Reply #1 on: May 04, 2010, 02:41:20 PM »

    That is pretty retarted



    WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!!!!!??
    HOW DID YOU GET IN MY HOUSE!?
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    « Reply #2 on: May 04, 2010, 02:44:54 PM »



    Oh I know where to put those...
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    « Reply #3 on: May 04, 2010, 06:46:07 PM »



    It turns me on...


    pun intended.
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    « Reply #4 on: May 07, 2010, 10:46:22 AM »

    BAHAHA NICE
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    Benny Burnsalot
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    « Reply #5 on: May 08, 2010, 07:07:50 AM »



    Some Dark_Stool-Esque photo: BRINGING YOU THE POWER.
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    « Reply #6 on: May 10, 2010, 02:07:53 PM »

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    "When profits are throbbing downward, there's still a quick buck to be made."

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    « Reply #7 on: May 10, 2010, 03:48:39 PM »

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    "I need an image that says 'massive meat in hand' and 'clenched cheeks'... but make it tasteful... like fine art."

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    « Reply #8 on: May 11, 2010, 11:21:12 AM »



    You sir are on top of the ball.
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    « Reply #9 on: May 11, 2010, 11:23:06 AM »



    It's always good to cheer for.... WTF!?
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    « Reply #10 on: May 11, 2010, 11:24:05 AM »



    It's what you tell her what it will taste like.
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    « Reply #11 on: May 13, 2010, 08:04:47 AM »



    It's what you tell her what it will taste like.
    best post
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    « Reply #12 on: May 18, 2010, 12:43:25 PM »

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    "I need you to photochop up a picture for my trucker friend's funeral. The theme is "Drivin' the Big Rig in the Sky."

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    « Reply #13 on: May 19, 2010, 09:47:13 AM »

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    "Now create the illusion of being relaxed and laid-back... yeah... hold that pose..."


    "Now show me 'Saucy Relaxed Business Guy in a New Suit on the Grass'... yeah!! that's the one!"
     
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    « Last Edit: May 19, 2010, 09:49:23 AM by Dark_Stool » Logged

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    « Reply #14 on: May 19, 2010, 09:52:41 AM »

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    "I rent my farmland to guys who need to get out of the house to...umm handle their business. Do you have any stock photos that might emphasize this?"



    "Yeah you do!"

    also:


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    « Last Edit: May 19, 2010, 09:54:58 AM by Dark_Stool » Logged

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    « Reply #15 on: May 19, 2010, 09:57:03 AM »



    "Shit on Debra's desk"
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    « Reply #16 on: May 19, 2010, 03:47:53 PM »

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    This is more of an evidence photo than a stock photo.

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    « Reply #17 on: May 19, 2010, 03:57:25 PM »

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    "I need an image for an apology card. Something that says, 'I'm sorry you saw me crapping in your pillowcase while fondling myself to the Price is Right.'"

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    « Reply #18 on: August 11, 2010, 11:21:06 AM »

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    JESUS RAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    « Reply #19 on: August 11, 2010, 12:54:13 PM »

    this thread is awesome, some of these pics are horrifying
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    « Reply #20 on: August 11, 2010, 01:29:27 PM »

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    JESUS RAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    Jesus gives out free high fives
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    FFFFFFFFFF


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    « Reply #21 on: August 11, 2010, 06:26:41 PM »

    I can only hope for a day in the near future in which I apply for a job at a new, upstart company, only to see some of these photos in their information brochure. I will then be asked politely to leave the interview early because of my unstoppable, hysterical laughter.



    Business Motto: "Gotta Catch 'Em All!"
    « Last Edit: August 11, 2010, 06:30:55 PM by Combat Wombat » Logged


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    FFFFFFFFFF


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    « Reply #22 on: August 11, 2010, 06:34:18 PM »



    Feeling tired? Try 5-Hour Energy!
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    « Reply #23 on: August 11, 2010, 07:06:43 PM »

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    !rimshot

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    « Reply #24 on: August 12, 2010, 02:40:39 PM »

    I can only hope for a day in the near future in which I apply for a job at a new, upstart company, only to see some of these photos in their information brochure. I will then be asked politely to leave the interview early because of my unstoppable, hysterical laughter.



    Business Motto: "Gotta Catch 'Em All!"

    Where's the white person?


    lol tire...
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    « Reply #25 on: August 12, 2010, 02:42:14 PM »



    I'm a real weenier




    Teach them while they're young...
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    « Reply #26 on: August 26, 2010, 09:56:46 AM »

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    « Reply #27 on: August 26, 2010, 11:29:22 AM »

    nom nom nom


    chewing on money is gross
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    Fist Da Bitch!


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    « Reply #28 on: August 26, 2010, 01:20:24 PM »

    "We'll stuff money down your throat"
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    « Reply #29 on: September 07, 2010, 11:34:54 AM »

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    « Reply #30 on: September 07, 2010, 12:00:32 PM »

    Where's my bf?
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    FFFFFFFFFF


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    « Reply #31 on: September 11, 2010, 09:26:55 PM »

    Excellent choice of shirt color.
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    « Reply #32 on: September 14, 2010, 09:23:01 AM »

    I would actually wear that if I had that...
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    « Reply #33 on: September 14, 2010, 09:33:38 AM »

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    i would wear that ball on my belt-buckle.

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    « Reply #34 on: September 14, 2010, 11:28:26 AM »


    Feeling tired? Try 5-Hour Energy!

    I.. i think i just had a stroke...
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    « Reply #35 on: October 04, 2010, 04:38:27 AM »

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    « Reply #36 on: October 05, 2010, 07:21:47 PM »

    is that conan obrian??
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    « Reply #37 on: October 14, 2010, 08:14:54 AM »

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    We got your dog stuffed for Christmas, honey.

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    FFFFFFFFFF


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    « Reply #38 on: October 14, 2010, 09:34:45 AM »

    Dear lord that's frightening.
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    « Reply #39 on: November 03, 2010, 07:36:09 AM »

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    Remember ladies: in the prostitution business, erections = profit.

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    « Reply #40 on: November 03, 2010, 09:05:50 AM »

    That's step three!
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    « Reply #41 on: March 16, 2011, 06:35:11 AM »

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    "I think I can see my pants from here."

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    « Reply #42 on: March 16, 2011, 07:18:39 AM »

    He must work out.
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    FFFFFFFFFF


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    « Reply #43 on: March 16, 2011, 10:46:06 AM »

    His nipple is an inny...

    Also, what could you possibly use this as an ad for? At-home concentration camps? "You too can have skinny Jews! Order now!"
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    « Reply #44 on: March 16, 2011, 11:41:12 AM »

    This photo is perfect for guys that have premature ejaculations like I do.  I just think of this guy when the timing comes when I don't want to finish the race and boom, I'm back in last place with a couple more seconds to last.
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    « Reply #45 on: March 16, 2011, 12:11:06 PM »

    This photo is perfect for guys that have premature ejaculations like I do.  I just think of this guy when the timing comes when I don't want to finish the race and boom, I'm back in last place with a couple more seconds to last.

    Smurfing perfect... I laughed audibly.
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    « Reply #46 on: August 24, 2011, 12:46:10 PM »

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    « Reply #47 on: August 24, 2011, 06:19:37 PM »

    D:
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    « Reply #48 on: August 27, 2011, 10:31:26 PM »

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    Nothing needs to even be said...

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